That Way
by OtakuIsLove
Summary: It's Daddy's birthday. Kitty dances to robotic music and initiates a dance off. Lara Jean is not pleased with Gen as per usual. And Peter Kavinsky? He writes a letter which may or may not be copied from a Backstreet Boys song.


**That Way**

A tribute to Jenny Han's 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before'

Summary: It's Daddy's birthday. Kitty dances to robotic music. Lara Jean is not pleased with Gen as per usual. And Peter Kavinsky writes a letter which may or may not be copied from a Backstreet Boys song.

* * *

My Daddy always takes a leave from his work during his birthday.

It has become a family tradition of the Song girls to cook him breakfast in bed and throw him a semi-small evening party complete with all the people he loves. Earlier that day, right before Kitty and I headed to school, we woke Daddy up with birthday pancakes, which was simply pancakes with sprinkles, whipped cream and strawberries on top. Kitty found a small candle on our celebrations drawer and perched it on top of the four-layered pancake.

She was a ball of energy, that girl. While I was busy balancing the tray between both hands, she had Jamie in her arms and was leaping on Daddy's bed, telling him to wake up. When he did, he gave a small laugh of delight and kissed both of us on the forehead.

"This truly is the most special day. Thank you girls" he said, when the pancakes were half-eaten and Jamie was ready to pounce on the strawberry slice that fell on the bed.

We left him to enjoy his pancakes in peace as soon as I heard Peter's van honk outside.

Kitty bounded off the stairs, yelling "He's here! Peter's here!"

And I waved my Daddy goodbye, telling him to have a good day.

"Thank You Lara Jean, I just know your Mommy's smiling from above"

* * *

Daddy never tells us what he does while we are at school during his birthday. Margot, Kitty and I always presume he'd be out doing Dad things like fixing light bulbs and changing tires, but I realized it was an odd thing to do on a birthday.

I had no clue what Daddy might be doing, not until I was thirteen. I can still remember it like it was yesterday, when I was down with the flu, it was Daddy's birthday and Margot and Kitty just left for school. I was sitting on the kitchen island, eating the rest of his birthday pancakes. I was bed-ridden the night before but Daddy had given me flu shots and I felt instantly better in the morning, so much so that my appetite and energy didn't wane one bit.

Daddy was smiling, humming to himself as he loaded the dishes on the dishwasher.

"You seem awfully chirpy, Daddy" I observed, noting a slight spring on his step. "Is this because of the pancakes that Margot made?"

He laughed "Of course it is, Lara Jean" He turned to me and wiped at the whipped cream that clung on my cheeks. "But I am also excited to see your Mommy today"

Instantly, my eyes grew wide. My breath hitched in excited anticipation. Daddy has never taken us to Mommy on a day like this. And for once, I didn't feel annoyed that I caught the flu.

"Will you really? Can I come?"

"Only if you promise to tie my tie" he said with a little sparkle in his eyes.

* * *

Once we dropped Kitty to her school, Peter turned off the stereo of his car. At once, everything fell silent. He hadn't been himself today, I noticed. He laughed too heartily at Kitty's complaints about her new Math teacher Mrs. Thurmantine, who, according to her, smelled a lot like an old lady's closet. If I knew him well, I could only interpret it as him trying to tell me something I might not like.

"Hey" I said to him when the silence turned a little awkward "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be Lara Jean?" he said, avoiding my eyes. He was a little to attentive on the road even if there were no cars in front of us.

I sighed "I don't know."

When I didn't say anything more, he turned the stereo back on. It was backstreet boys and I knew he wasn't immune to singing their lyrics. I was right. Once the chorus came on, I watched Peter K. drum his fingers on the wheel and bop his head, singing about 'ain't nothing but heartaches' and 'wanting it that way'.

I stifled a giggle.

"You're cute" I told him, I reached for his cheeks and pinched him lightly.

He scoffed "Cute doesn't even begin to cover half of it" And to prove his point he let his car mirror down and gave me a wink through it.

"And arrogant" I added, watching his annoyed expression with glee. "And very, very handsome"

I watch him give me that lazy smile that I loved the most. It was my most favorite thing about his face. "Now you're talking, Lara Jean"

* * *

My Daddy always got Mommy red tulips because he said they were her favorite flowers. I had tied his tie earlier, remembering exactly how Margot did it. After Daddy's glee at having a well-knotted tie, he became silent and brooding as we walked the upward hill towards her tomb. He was holding my hand and in them, I felt safe and calm even if this visit was anything from it.

Daddy set the tulips down on her tomb, right there on the grass and we put down a cloth and picnic basket. I helped him prepare peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and various Tupperwares full of Korean food. I also thought to bring last night's batch of cookies that Margot and I baked together, they were the classic chocolate chip and they went really well with the warm milk that we brought on a thermos.

I remember sitting there contented with a small smile on my face. I have never seen Daddy so pensive in front of me before but I suppose it is what happens when he is so close to Mommy. The sun was gently basking us with its warm glow, and I took out the watermelon slices and put them on a small dish.

"Thank you Lara Jean" Daddy took one and ate it quietly.

"Do you think Mommy is watching us right now, Daddy?" I asked him, I wasn't sure what I wanted him to say, all I knew was that I wanted to hear assurance that wherever Mommy was, she was there for us no matter what.

"Oh, I think she's here eating watermelon slices with us!" He said with a kind smile "I have never shared my birthday to anyone else Lara Jean, except your Mommy, on this specific time. And now, you get to be here with me. Hopefully the rest of the Song girls can join us when there's no school day, someday. That is my wish"

"Me too!" I told him. I had felt special then, because not even Margot got to share that memory with me. But it took me a long while to realize that what might've made it more special is if she and Kitty were there with us too.

I wished on it that night when I was tucked in bed. I wished with all my heart that we could be all here in this picnic with Mommy, eating watermelon slices with her.

* * *

"Gen asked me to do something for her today" Peter said when he shut off his engine. We arrived in the school parking lot a few minutes ago and throngs of students were walking past us, going towards the main school building with their friends, carrying their backpacks and books.

At the sound of her name, I became cautious. I looked at him and his light-colored eyes and wondered if I could ever speak my mind clearly about their past relationship without sounding vindictive or jealous.

"Why?" I asked him quietly

"It's not what you think Lara Jean—I promise. She needed my help with something and I couldn't say no" He sighed, when he saw how sour my face had become. He collected both my hands in his and squeezed them. "You have to believe me"

"What is this something and why can't you say no?" I said, controlling my tone of voice "I invited you to Daddy's birthday tonight. He would be disappointed if you won't come"

"I know. And I am sorry. But I promise, I will tell you everything when it's done. It will be worth it"

"Won't you at least give me a clue of what it is?" I said, unable to look him in the eye any longer. I didn't know if I was mildly annoyed with him or just angry at Gen for ruining yet another date.

He sighed again. He did that a lot when he was exasperated. I watched as he combed his fingers through his hair while he thought of something. "She needs my muscles?"

"Your _what_?" I narrowed my eyes. I had enough. I retrieved my hands from his grip and hoisted my bag on my shoulders. I opened his car and walked towards the main building without looking back at him.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I heard him yell behind me.

But it was too late, I let my anger get the better of me and I pretended not to hear anymore of his pathetic excuses.

* * *

"She needed his what?" Chris yelled in aghast. We were now back home and I was busy whipping up my cake in the kitchen for Daddy's birthday party this evening. It was his favorite vanilla cake filled with Italian meringue buttercream. It took me a week to master but I know it would be worth it. She was sitting on the stool in front of me with wide eyes, it was mildly entertaining. "That bitch!"

Kitty who was watching her favorite show on the living room had the ears of a bat and looked up in our direction. Sensing that there was big juicy gossip, she came running towards me and pretended to check the milk expiration date on the carton, wanting to hear more.

"Are we talking about Gen?" she said, after she noticed that Chris and I were looking at her with disbelief. "What? What did I say?"

"Go back to the living room, Kitty. Your show's starting" I gave her a little nudge and she stuck her tongue out at me.

"You have to tell me everything later!" And she zoomed out, back into her seat on the living room, as if she never left.

I rolled my eyes and Chris laughed. "So have you heard anything from Gen? What's up with her? Why does she need Peter's muscles?"

Chris gave me the biggest shrug, her shoulders nearly touched her ears. "I have no idea. All I heard was that her Dad's been having a heard time financially and they are making hard choices right now"

I thought about that for a moment, while I whisked two egg yolks. "Hmm..."

* * *

Margot and I were video chatting right before Daddy's birthday party started. It was 11 in the evening in Scotland, and I knew she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep. I did tell her that, and I also told her Daddy would understand but Margot being Margot insisted that she had to be there for the party, even through electronic means. She watched me try on three dresses while she nursed her night-night tea between her palms.

"Lara Jean, I have just about enough" she said in between yawns "We have talked about absolutely nothing. I have watched you change for the millionth time tonight and you didn't even answer me when I asked when Daddy will be home"

"Didn't I?" I said absent-mindedly. My phone had zero calls and messages.

"Where did you say Daddy will be the whole day?"

I finally settled down on my desk to look at her. She definitely looked tired. The crappy camera couldn't hide the bags underneath her eyes. "He told me he would run some errands. He texted me earlier saying he stopped by his clinic to stack his books, then after he went to Mommy"

I watched Margot take a sip of her tea and not saying another word.

"I wish I could be there with you guys right now" she said after a while

"We all wish that too" I said. I stood up again and rummaged through more of my drawers hoping one clothing would magically pop out and make me look perfect.

"What is up with you, Lara Jean?" she said "Did you and Peter Kavinsky fight?"

I sighed, which she took as a yes.

"What happened?"

So I told her about Gen needing his muscles and the whole mystery of why of all men that would come flocking to her in every beck and call, she had to call Peter.

"I wouldn't be surprised at all, if I were you" said Margot, after a small pause "No matter how crappy of a person Gen is, Peter seems to be the type of guy who never says no to those who need him the most"

I remembered what he told me before: _It feels nice to be needed_. And maybe Margot was right. The way Margot usually is.

"Lara Jean?" she said, when I didn't reply. "Go tell him you need him. And he'll come. You know he will"

"And if he doesn't?"

"I doubt it"

I nodded, then let out a big relieved sigh. I am so glad that I have Margot to talk to.

I picked up my cell and texted: _I need you_

* * *

The party was in full swing. Gran was happily talking to Kitty, who took permanent residence on her lap. Daddy invited over his work friends and they were all talking in the living room, while helping themselves to a slice of my cake.

I had gotten praises from it all night and it did raise my spirits somehow. I especially loved it when everyone sang Daddy the birthday song, even Margot who sounded choppy via video chat—and Kitty and I helped bring out the two-tier cake all gloriously wrapped in red frosting. On the sides, 'Happy Birthday, Daddy!' was scribbled on it with a drawing of the Song girls and Jamie made out of frosting.

Daddy looked close to tears as we did so and he blew on his cake after he closed his eyes and made a wish. We all cheered when it was done and I got to serve the cake to all the guest.

Ms. Rothschild was talking to Josh's parents on the kitchen and I smiled at them while I grabbed myself another drink. Nobody would notice the amount of champagne I was sipping, but Josh did.

"Are you alright, Lara Jean?"

He had just finished talking to Margot, who bade everyone good night before cutting off her video chat connection. He made his way to me and stood with me there on the wall leading to our living room.

"I guess"

Josh never changed one bit, even if he was moving to another town next year because of college. He still had those nice set of hair and beautiful eyes that we Song girls couldn't get enough of. But ever since he and Margot got back together, and after that embarrassing letter fiasco, things were now normal between me and him. It was better than normal, actually: I felt like I could confide in him again just like how we always do. Before any of the madness really began.

"Is this about Kavinsky? You guys fought?"

"Gosh, you and Margot sound eerily alike" I told him before taking another sip of my champagne

He almost turned pink at that. "Listen, he's an ass if he thinks he could just bail on you like that. You should give him hell for this. Do you get me, Lara Jean?"

I agreed, I really did. Except that after three painful hours of waiting, Peter finally texted back.

I excused myself from Josh and read out his message: _Go up to your room_

This instantly made me suspicious. I tried to call him but he won't answer. So I made my way to the stairs. Kitty caught me just in time.

"Where are you going Lara Jean? The party's this way" And for emphasis, she makes finger guns towards the living room.

"I know" I said, not meeting her eyes. I hated laying to Kitty. "I need to get something from my room for a second"

"What is it?" she was genuinely curious

"Um—"

"She borrowed my CD and I thought it was high time Lara Jean returned it to me" It was Josh, right behind Kitty. He was giving me a 'go' gesture. I smiled at him in thanks before climbing up.

Behind my back, I heard Kitty say, "Not fair! I want to listen to that CD too! Can I borrow it Josh? Please, please, please! I promise to share my pistachio and cranberry cookies with you tomorrow"

"Five cookies" Josh said

"Two!" Kitty negotiated, sounding a bit huffy

"Three-ee" Josh said in a sing-song voice "Let's shake on it"

I had to stifle a laugh.

* * *

I locked the door behind me, then I panicked. What if Peter was up to something devious? At my Daddy's birthday, no less?

I unlocked the door, walked two steps towards my bed and changed my mind.

I locked it again. I didn't want Kitty or Daddy suddenly coming in if ever Peter was in my room. It might lead to misunderstandings. Not that I intend to let him in. Letting a boy in my room was still a very big deal to me even at this point of our relationship.

There was no signs of Peter K. anywhere. I even checked under my bed, my cabinet and behind the curtains, hoping he would magically jump out and scare me.

I texted him: _where are you?_

I sat on my bed and waited. I stared at that lone glow-in-the-dark star stuck to my ceiling for who knows how long and daydreamed about what it would be like if the rest of the stars were still there. I remembered how pretty it was, distributed all around before. But they started coming off one by one and this star was the only thing that remained.

Stubborn but still glowing, even in the darkness.

Finally, Peter replied: _Check your table_

I stood up and checked. I found a piece of letter addressed to me. It was clearly written by him. It had the same boxy penmanship as Peter's. Puzzled, I took it and tried to remember if it was there before. No it wasn't. I was sure of it. Peter must have sneaked in here while the party was going on downstairs.

The creep.

I opened the letter and what it said was:

 _Dear Lara Jean,_

 _You are my fire,_

 _The one desire_

 _Believe when I say_

 _I want it that way_

 _Please forgive me_

 _You said you needed me_

 _Here I am_

 _I need you just as much_

 _Love, Peter Kavinsky_

It was sweet. And I have definitely forgiven him. I giggled after I tucked away the letter inside my hat box.

I texted him: _Peter, did you just write me a love letter copied straight from a Backstreet Boys song?_

He texted back: _Does this mean I'm forgiven?_

I typed _No_

He texted: _What if I tell you I am standing outside your window and I can see how much you giggled over what I wrote?_

 _What?_

I turned beet red. At once, I opened my window and looked for him. There he is. He was perched on a low branch, holding on a telescope. He gave me a small wave when I spotted him. _The creep._

"Hey, you quirky girl" he said, after he helped himself climb in my room. "Are you still mad at me, Lara Jean?"

"Maybe"

He laughed "I have seen how red you were after reading my love letter. You really liked it didn't you? You even placed it on your box."

I was seething with embarrassment and I felt it emanate to my cheeks. He noted my clenched fist and turned silent but just when he thought I was really mad at him, I gave him a big hug and I literally felt his sigh of relief. I once again felt how much power I have over Peter. He felt better when I felt better. It scared me but also gave me a thrill.

"I'm sorry Lara Jean. I would never intentionally piss you off."

"I know" I said "I just want to let you know that I need you too"

He hugged me tighter, his hands resting gently at the back of my neck "I know" and in it, I heard a smile.

We were silent for a while, enjoying our hug and reconciliation. Then I whispered to him "You really need to write more original love letters"

He laughed in my ears.

* * *

We talked for a while. We both sat on the foot of my bed and held hands. It made me feel like a fugitive at first because I knew everyone was downstairs, but Peter made me relax and so I kind of did, even if I was ready to push him under the bed if someone comes knocking.

He finally told me he was helping Gen move her furniture because she and her family were transferring to a new neighborhood in town, in a smaller house. He said Gen didn't want anyone knowing she was moving and that she trusted him enough not to tell.

My mouth made an O. Chris was right. This must be because of her Dad's financial problems. Even if the news delighted me, I still found it uncomortable talking about other people's issues. I suppose I was never really wired to be interested in things more than people are willing to share. But even then, Peter made me promise not to say anything and to pretend that I didn't know. I rolled my eyes but I did promise.

"Your knuckles are red" I observed. I lifted our entangled hands together to look at it closely.

He cleared his throat "Gen's stuff aren't particularly light. Her dresser is twice my size"

"I wouldn't be surprised" I said dryly "She must've sat there drinking fancy iced tea while you do all the work. Didn't you?"

His averted eyes was enough confirmation.

"Hey"

He looked at me again. I knew he was trying to assess any anger or jealousy in my eyes and I did my very best not to let him see. "I'm not mad" I told him, and as I did, I realized that I really wasn't. Somehow, Peter's gesture tonight made me feel as if our relationship is way above Gen and the rest of her antics.

He eyed me doubtfully "Sometimes you can be very unpredictable Lara Jean"

"Good" I said to him "It means I'm not boring"

He smiled at me "Definitely _not_ "

And then he kissed me gently and despite the growing panic of someone knocking down the door, I let him. I closed my eyes and savored the feel of him and his hands at the small of my back.

"Lara Jean, do you know how I want to be here with you so badly today?"

I nodded. He kissed me again. Once, twice, a third time. And I didn't know what happened but I felt myself lean back on my bed, both my elbows supporting me. Peter was lying on his side, his palm warming up my cheek, then entangling in my hair.

Then the unthinkable happened: Three hard knocks on the door

"Lara Jean" It was Josh and he didn't sound too happy. Peter and I jumped off the bed and stood a few feet apart, startled and breathing heavily "Your Dad is looking for you downstairs"

"Um, be right there!" I called out. I felt as if my heart could explode out of my rib cage.

Peter was silently laughing and I gave him a nudge towards the window. "You need to go through the door like a normal person!" I hiss at him as he put one foot outside. "Go!"

* * *

When I went down the stairs, bearing the CD that Josh _did_ really let me borrow, everyone was on the living room. Daddy plugged on the karaoke machine and songs from the 90's came on. Everyone was having a grand time and nobody seemed to notice my absence.

Not until I saw Josh's curious eyes follow me. I gave him a small wave but he gave me a knowing look back. I ignored him.

"Thank you for coming everyone!" Daddy said as I pretended to lean on the wall as if I was there the whole time. He was in the very center of the room, microphone in his hands "I am so glad that I get to share my birthday with you. And although my request is quite frivolous, I would like to ask my daughter Kitty to accompany me on a dance number"

I clapped with the rest of them. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" I said, and Daddy gave me a small smile as if he knows it was that sound I've been waiting for the whole night.

It was Peter and he was holding a champagne bottle. "Hi" he gave me a swift kiss on the cheek. Then he went straight to my Daddy to hand him the gift "Happy Birthday, Dr. Covey. Sorry I'm late."

"Why thank you Peter" was Daddy's answer "It's nice that you could make it tonight" He took the champagne and settled it on the table and away he danced with Kitty.

Peter was watching Kitty and Daddy do the robot dance under Kraftwerk's 'the robots' with amusement as with the rest of the guest who clapped their hands along to the beat. It didn't take long enough before a dance off commenced. Kitty was hogging the dance floor in her best robot arms impersonation and Daddy was trying to do a robot moonwalk, even if it wasn't very convincing.

I grabbed Peter's hand "Come on"

He followed me to the kitchen and I handed him a drink. Josh was already there waiting for him.

"It took you a while to arrive Kavinsky"

I took a nervous drink from my glass, my eyes nervously darting between him and Peter.

"It's nice to see you too, man" said Peter who clearly didn't want to start any banter tonight. "If you'll excuse me, my girlfriend and I need to go do the robot dance"

And I suppressed this odd sense of jubilance as soon as I felt him grab me towards the living room and into the dance floor. I laughed while he did a terrible moonwalk. I attempted a couple of robotic arm movements but I knew I was no match to their very convincing impersonations.

"Can't touch this, Lara Jean" he said, and did a couple more robotic moves while I laughed and tried to copy him. Kitty was there at once and was challenging him to a dance off. Daddy had long given up and was talking to Ms. Rothschild at the corner. I smiled.

"Ki-tty! Ki-tty! Ki-tty!" The crowd chanted, even Grandma who looked the most spirited of all just sitting on the couch cheering Kitty on proudly.

"Pe-ter! Pe-ter! Pe-ter!" I chanted along when it was his turn to show off his moves.

"He's not bad" Josh was there behind me. Observing the entire dance showdown with a bemused expression "Kavinsky might be alright after all, Lara Jean"

I nodded, sipping my drink in silence as I enjoyed the showdown.

* * *

It was half past ten when the party started to dissipate. Kitty was declared winner of the dance off and Peter accepted the verdict with a small graceful bow. Josh and his parents went home, and the rest were slowly starting to pile out the door and into their cars. Kitty was still dancing on the living room, her new partner, Jamie looked delighted to be spun around and around.

Daddy had put on a slow song while Kavinsky and I tried to clean up. Daddy insisted that he should help, but I knew he had an early day tomorrow. I told him he should rest while we finish cleaning up.

"Lara Jean, thank you for this wonderful party. I enjoyed myself very much" He kissed my cheeks and bade me goodnight as he did Kitty.

"My feet are so sore!" Kitty grumbled when Daddy was long gone in his room and Peter and I continued to put the leftovers in plastic Tupperwares. "But it was the best time ever. Don't you think so Lara Jean?"

"It was very fun" I agreed, wrapping up leftover chicken. "I didn't know you had it in you to dance to all those upbeat songs. Where did you learn all of that?"

"Tv of course!" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. But I knew it wasn't just the TV. A long time ago, Margot and I agreed that Kitty was the most graceful out of all of us Song sisters. She could be a ballerina if she wanted to.

"Was I a good dancer?" Kitty prodded, settling herself down on the kitchen stool and not being helpful as always. I pretended to think about it, which made her upset. But Peter who started loading up the dish washer, took the bait.

"Don't worry Kitty. Lara Jean is just jealous. You are definitely a good dancer" He said to her. I mouthed the words _suck up_ to him and he laughed. Kitty was delighted to hear it. She bade us goodnight and went upstairs with Jamie in tow.

"Thank you for helping" I said to him, once all the food was stocked inside the refrigerator.

"Of course. Anytime"

I watched as Peter closed the dishwasher and the only sound left was the slow song in the living room.

He gave me a look. It was the same look he gave me when he told me he liked me very much. It felt a bit strange that after all the fun and laughter, it was just the two of us left in the kitchen with a slow song playing in the background. He must have realized this too, because he kissed my forehead all of a sudden.

"Come on Lara Jean" he told me quietly, putting my hand in his "Let's dance"

I was about to protest, but he was already leading me to the living room. He held my waist and guided my arms on his shoulder. I took a small breath, slightly panicked because I knew I wasn't a very good dancer.

"Relax" he told me. I tried very much to. He took my waist and spun us together in a small circle. We didn't talk, and after a while I rested my head on his shoulder as he continued to guide me slowly on the makeshift dance floor.

"This is nice" I told him after a while.

And indeed it was, because I was in Peter Kavinsky's arms and right now at this moment, there was no place I would rather be.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I know. It has been four years without an update. The horror! I have been very busy with college and now that it is all over, I found myself wanting to visit the fan fiction world again because I missed it so much. I have been reading Jenny Han's books ever since they came out and I had the chance to re-read it again. I had forgotten that she has this inexplicable capability of putting you in this magic bubble of nostalgia. She lets you fall in love with her characters and I find myself falling in love with Peter Kavinsky and Lara Jean all over again.

To those who are wondering if whether or not I will update 'The Way We Talk', I have no definite answer to that. I have been making a series of drafts for the remaining chapters and I hope I'd be able to finish it when the time permits.

Thank you for reading!


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